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The Early Years
The following is a description of my spiritual journey. The account is taken from memory. Things may be added or lost when one relies only on memory. This description is as accurate as I can make it under such circumstances.
During the years preceding college, various members of the Sunday school class that I attended "joined the church." When asked why I had not joined, I replied that I did not think my classmates had any real idea what they were doing. I was going to wait until I did.
Sometime during my freshman year at college, at the age of 18, I decided that it was time to join the church. I dropped by the large church that I attended and went to the Campus Minister's office. This man asked what he could do for me, and I informed him that I wanted to join the church. He asked if I would like to join this Sunday, and I indicated that I would. He then asked if there was anything else that he could do for me. When I replied, "no," he said he would see me Sunday, and I left. I had expected him to indicate that this was not something to be entered into lightly, and to ask me why I had come to that decision. Also, I assumed he would discuss the matter with me, bringing up whatever points he felt were needed.
At the end of the Sunday morning service, the minister invited non-members to come forward and join the church. They could come by transferring their membership by letter from a sister church, or they could join by making a profession of faith. I went down to the front. The minister said (as I remember it), "Lawton, do you believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God, and do you accept Him as your personal Savior?" I indicated that I did. I do not remember exactly what the minister said, but as he took my hand, he welcomed me with the "hand of Christian fellowship."
That evening I was baptized. I did not realize it at that tme, but eleven years later, I knew that what I did was nothing more than becoming a member of a club or some other human organization.
I continued attending Sunday School, church services Sunday morning and the college and careers group. I remember very little of those years. I do remember that another student and I enjoyed bringing up questions and thoughts that were somewhat antagonistic to whatever the Sunday school teacher was discussing. These were not done maliciously, but they still put us at the edge of the group. At the same time, I had encountered several places in the Bible that seemed to be contradictory. I was not at all bashful about sharing these with anyone who seemed to be overly religious.
The Middle Years
I met my future wife, Colleen Young, at church. This was during the summer prior to the third year of college for me, and the second year for her. Colleen's parents and sister had just moved into the city from Oklahoma. That fall, she would be at Texas Tech, and I would be at Texas A & M. Both of us continued to attend church regularly, and got to know each other better through letters.
When I attended Texas A & M, it was an all-male military school. It had many military branches from which to choose for advanced training during the last two years. This lead to a commission as a second lieutenant. I chose the infantry. Those of us in the armored and in the infantry were at Fort Hood, Texas during the summer of 1950 for special training. The Korean War started during this period. We knew that unless the situation in Korea were to be cleared up soon, we would be called to extended active duty, and probably be in combat within a year or so.
I received my commission and my degree in May, 1951. Since Korea was "red hot," It would be futile to begin work toward the masters degree in June. Colleen and I became engaged in September. Fourth Army Headquarters ordered me to report to Fort Benning, Georgia in late October for the 16-week Associate Infantry Company Officers Course. Colleen and I were married February 26, 1952 after I completed the training at Fort Benning. My next assignment was at Fort Ord, California.
We continued to attend church after my reporting for duty at Fort Ord. We had an apartment at Pacific Grove where I taught a high school Sunday School class for a while.
Most of the second lieutenants stayed at Fort Ord about 4.5 months before receiving orders for (usually) the Far East Command. After several months I became the ranking second lieutenant in my regiment.
Orders came notifying me that I would be changed from Infantry to the Medical Service Corps (MSC). I was to report to Fort Sam Houston, Texas in November for the associate course there. After completing this course, I was assigned to the Department of Preventive Medicine of the Medical Field Service School (MFSS).
I taught medical entomology in the Preventive Medicine Technicians Course in the MFSS. My promotion to first lieutenant came during this time. Later, another first lieutenant, Orville Darnell, joined our section as an instructor in medical entomology. This man previously had been with the MSC in Korea. He had driven a jeep off a bridge and sustained a head injury. A rounded piece of the frontal bone of his forehead had been driven back against the brain. A neurosurgeon at a MASH unit had treated Darnell. The surgeon had told Darnell that he was fortunate that the bone had not been pushed back a quarter of an inch more. Sometime between this accident and when I met him, Darnell had "gotten religion" according to one of the sergeants.
Darnell never tried to "get religious" with me during the time that I knew him. The closest he came was one time or another he would tell me about something, then say, "But that was before I was saved." According to Darnell, when he was awarded the B.S. degree in entomology, he applied for work with the USDA's Bureau of Entomology and Plant Quarantine. Darnell and his family were transported first class aboard an ocean liner to Hawaii. He said that within the first 24 hours he could find any bar in the ship in the dark. Then, he added, "That was before I was saved." I had concluded as a teenager that the people using the word, "saved" meant "joined the church." "Saved" had too sharp an edge, as in "saved" and "lost." I wanted a wide, middle, gray zone...not two zones with a sharp boundary between them.
I do remember one time when Darnell may have touched on religion in a more direct manner. He said something similar to this, "Lieutenant Owen, you don't use profanity, and you don't tell dirty jokes. Do you do this for religious reasons?" My interpretation of this question caused me to answer, "Yes." We did not discuss this further. Sometime during my association with Darnell, I told my wife, "This world would certainly be a better place if everyone were like Lieutenant Darnell."
After active duty, I entered graduate school at Texas A & M to work on the M.S. degree. I had planned to go to another university immediately after completing my M.S. degree, and continue studies toward the Ph. D. degree. However, I had the opportunity to do a year of special study with R. W. Strandtmann at Texas Tech, so I did this.
Colleen and I went to a young couples Sunday school class during this period. There were some of us who had gotten "fed up" with studying booklets and discussing them. We pushed for the class to study the Bible. There was an elderly woman in the church, who was known as quite a Bible scholar. So we got her to teach our class. This split the class...those who did not want to study the Bible moved down the hall to another room.
The Years of Discovery
I continued graduate studies toward the Ph.D. degree at another university after I completed the year of special study. I had finished two years of study with one year remaining when I reached a significant point in my life. Colleen and I had been attending regularly Sunday school and church services as previously. As I was involved in various programs in the church, I found that I was feeling empty, disappointed, and dissatisfied. I felt that such involvement should have resulted in just the opposite feelings. I believed that the logical conclusion to this was to discard religion.
My education as a scientist caused me to do two things before shooting religion down the tube: (1) I would go to the literature as I did when I reviewed the scientific literature when starting a research project. This meant the Bible. (2) I would give its contents an objective study. This study involved almost daily reading of the Bible. Since religion to me had the label "Christianity," I studied The New Testament. This involved the last year of graduate school and about three-fourths of the next year.
Near completion of my Ph.D. studies, I accepted a laboratory research position with the USDA. Colleen and I were surprised that our new city did not have our denomination. The church denomination to which we belonged had been one of the four major denominations in each city where we had lived previously. We began to visit various churches, but did not feel fully "at home" in any.
One Sunday afternoon, we were driving in an area of town we had not visited before. We noticed an attractive, two-story church building set back on a large lot with a backdrop of pine trees. The attractive, old-English sign identified the church as "The Chapel." It did not say "Presbyterian Chapel" or something similar. We decided that it must be one of those "non-denominational" churches. For some reason, we did not instantly push the matter from our minds. During the next week, I asked my laboratory assistant and our section secretary about the church. Both had positive things to say about it. Also, Colleen asked the woman next door about The Chapel. She said that the preacher there was the best in town.
With such positive recommendations, we decided to visit The Chapel. We noticed two things during the service: (1) We were the only people without a copy of the Bible. (2) The sermon was almost too heavy for us. (We had been used to 20 minutes of sermons with no real substance.) The speaker would refer to passages in the Bible and the congregation would turn to them. We were favorably impressed with the speaker, and with the members of the congregation. They seemed normal--no "funny stuff."
The next day at noon, the speaker dropped by our house, which was not far from the experiment station. We spent almost the entire lunch hour discussing our beliefs and related matters. The man left two booklets with us.
We continued going to The Chapel, attending every one of their meetings. Also, we continued our daily study of The New Testament. A few weeks later, Colleen's father had a heart attack. Colleen and our one-year-old son flew to Texas. She spent each night for a month in her father's hospital room.
There were several things in the Bible that had bothered me for some years. One of these was why the Roman soldiers broke the legs of the two malefactors who had been crucified on either side of Jesus. When the soldiers saw that Jesus was dead they did not break his legs. While Colleen was at the hospital sitting with her father, she read an article in a magazine that explained how people died from crucifixion. She later shared this information with me.
This article said death by crucifixion was caused by suffocation. A person being crucified had his arms nailed or tied to the crosspiece. Then, his feet were nailed to the upright piece or to a piece of wood projecting at the proper level from the upright piece. The feet were placed so that the knees were bent. In order to breathe, a person had to push up to straighten the knees so that his body no longer was pulling down on the arms. When the body was pulling down on the arms, and the thorax, it was impossible to breathe. For a while, the crucified person could hold himself continually upright. As time passed, he became so tired that he had to slump down to rest his muscles. Only when the respiratory centers of the brain screamed for intake of air, did the person make the laborious straightening of the legs in order to breathe. Truly, crucifixion resulted in a torturous death.
Another matter bothered me--Christ's agony in the garden of Gethsemane just prior to his crucifixion. A woman whose husband was bedridden did not get to The Chapel very often; we had never met her. She wanted to do something for some of the newer people at The Chapel. Our names, along with those of a few others, were given to her. She sent each one of us a booklet, The Prince of Peace, with a letter expressing her hope that each of us might receive some help from it. At the bottom of her letter to Colleen and me, she had added a note that she also was including a copy of another booklet, Calvary and Gethsemane. It was the latter publication that resulted in our understanding of the agony at Gethsemane and how it related to the cross. Prior to this time I had thought how unfortunate that Jesus had been captured and executed after only about three years of his teachings and good works.
Another thing had bothered me for years. Why had Jesus cried from the cross, "My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?" I had thought that of all times Jesus needed to feel God's presence, it was when he was dying such a cruel death.
The triune God...Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, before the creation of the world knew that humans would sin. Sin would separate humans from God (Romans 3:23..."For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.") God is just and holy. He must punish sin (Romans 6:23...For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord".) But God also is love. God had a plan whereby humans could be saved (redeemed). An awful price had to be paid to do this. Try to imagine how many sins humans throughout time would commit. I am overwhelmed with the number of sins that I have committed, without considering other humans. What was God's plan?
Our Savior had to be fully human to be our fair substitute. But He also had to be without sin. Only God is sinless. God sent His Son to redeem us, to pay the price that our sins demanded, to be our Savior. John 3:16 states, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Christ was fully human, and He was fully God. Your God died for you.
Christ was crucified in the morning. There was a supernatural darkness from noon until 3:00 p.m. (Matthew 27:45). It was during this period that every person's sins were judged. What was this judgment that Christ took? He took the entire hell-punishment for every sin (past, present, and future) for the entire human race.. Jesus literally "went to hell for me!" He took my place. But, I had to accept His substitution for me. All the fullness of divine wrath fell on Him as sin-bearer. Christ then shouted, "It is finished!" He bowed His head and gave up the spirit (John 19:30b). His work as sin-bearer was over. He was buried, and on the third day He was resurrected from the dead. Christ's resurrection affirmed that God the Father was completely satisfied that the full price (that our sins had demanded) had been paid.
By Christmas of 1958, I had a head knowledge of who Jesus Christ was, and why he came to earth. However, at this time it was only intellectual knowledge. I remember going to Texas for Christmas and talking with my brother about this. I remember asking him questions such as these: Did you know that Jesus Christ is God? Did you know that He died for our sins? Did you know that grace is unmerited favor?
Here are some verses that "knocked me out of the saddle." John 1:1 and 2 state, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The same was in the beginning with God." Verse 14 of the same chapter says, "And the Word was made flesh and dwelt among us, (and we beheld His glory, the glory as the only begotten of the Father), full of grace and truth." Verse 3 of John 1 points to the deity of Jesus Christ, "All things were made by Him; and without Him was not anything made that was made." Verses 4 and 5 of the same chapter state that many people rejected him: "In Him was life; and the life was the light of men. And the light shineth in the darkness; and the darkness overcame it not."
Here are a few other verses that show that Jesus Christ is God. Colossians 1:15-17 states, "Who is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by Him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones or dominions, or principalities, or powers--all things were created by Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and by Him all things consist." Colossians 2:9 says, "For in Him dwelleth all the fullness of the Godhead bodily;" Hebrews 1:1-3 declares, "God, who at sundry times and in diverse manners spoke in time past unto the fathers by the prophets, has in these last days spoken to us by His Son, whom He has appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the worlds; who being the brightness of His glory and the express image of His person, and upholding all things by the word of His power, when He had by Himself purged our sins, sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high,"
C. S. Lewis, in his book, Mere Christianity, writes about Jesus Christ, "I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: 'I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept His claim to be God.' That is the one thing that we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic--on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg--or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronising nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to."
The existence of sin in all humans is why God had to die for our sins. There is no other way out. Most people know that they are sinners. They rationalize this by thinking that they are much better than most people they know. The error here is that they are comparing themselves with other humans. The question is, how do humans stand up to God's standards? Romans 3:23 declares, "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God." Romans 6:23 states, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ, our Lord."
I had been "working my way to heaven" for years. I tried to do the things I was told to do in the Bible. I tried to avoid doing the things that the Bible told me not to do. I hoped that some day when I would stand before God, I would have at least one more good deed than the bad deeds that I had "earned" during my life. What a surprise to learn that the Bible says that it is impossible for us to do anything that will make us righteous in God's sight. Ephesians 2:8 and 9 declares, "For by grace are you saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast."
Titus 3:4-6 states, "But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior." John 6:28 and 29 contains a very important question with Jesus' answer: "Then said they unto him, what shall we do, that we might work the works of God? Jesus answered, and said unto them, This is the work of God, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent." (Note...Jesus is saying a person cannot work the works of God...we must believe.)
John 3 gives the account of Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews, who came to Jesus at night. Jesus tells Nicodemus, "Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God." (John 3:3b) Jesus stresses the necessity of the new birth in verses that follow this one. This is a spiritual birth. Jesus states in John 3:16, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life." Belief described in The New Testament of the Bible involves not only consent of the mind, but also an act of the heart and will of the person. Belief is synonymous with faith. This means believing and receiving what God has revealed in His Son.
John 3:36 says, "He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life; and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abideth on him." John 11:25 and 26a state, "Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life; he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live. And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die."
There are other places in The New Testament that stress salvation is obtained not by works, but by belief that the Lord Jesus Christ died for your sins. Again, this is more than intellectual acknowledgment of a fact. I pointed out above that belief involves an act of the heart and will of the person. This is faith, believing and receiving what God has revealed concerning His Son..
A common belief is that there are many ways to heaven. Jesus Christ clearly states that there is only one way to heaven. John 14:6 says, "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life; no man cometh unto the Father but by me." 1 Timothy 1:15a declares, "This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners." John 1:29b gives the declaration of John the Baptist, "Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!"
I was surprised to learn that "saved" is a biblical term--as is "lost." The Gospel, the Good News, is that God became man in order to offer a perfect sacrifice of Himself for my sins. He came to do for me what I could not do. Years later, I learned a song that goes, "He paid a debt He did not owe, because I owed a debt I could not pay."
Time of Decision
Sometime later I moved beyond a mere intellectual knowledge about Christ's death, burial, and resurrection. This came about when I deliberately took Christ's work for myself. I do not know exactly when I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior--when I accepted His gift of dying for my sins. But I do know when I had full realization of this--full assurance. It was during the night of March 23, 1959. I did not notice the time, so it may have been past midnight, which would have been March 24th. I awoke, and immediately the tremendous thought emerged, "I'm saved!" Instantly, I sat up in bed. The feeling was so strong that I started to awaken my wife, but I didn't.
I kept all of this to myself. Several days later, my wife said, "Lawton, I think I've been saved." I stated, "I know I have."
I phoned the person who had first visited us from the Chapel, and asked him if he would come to see us. He dropped by that night. I told him that Colleen and I had been saved. I then told him that both of us had been baptized when we had "joined the church." We now understood that the Bible states that people were baptized after they had accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as their personal Savior. However, I felt that if we were to be baptized again, it would be just to please people. He wisely stated that we should not be baptized until we felt differently. In about a month, without any pressure from anyone in the church, Colleen and I requested and received baptism.
March (2005) marked the 46th anniversary of my accepting Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. I am very thankful that someone took the time to show me the only way to be right with God. This is why I'm writing this for you. The above is an account of some of the highlights of my spiritual journey. What is most important to you is how will your spiritual journey end? Heaven.........or hell?
I trust that you will make the decision that will ensure that your sins are forgiven, and that you will be with the Lord forever. Question: What do you have to do to go to hell? Answer: Nothing..................
"For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness, but unto us who are saved it is the power of God." (1 Corinthians 1:18)
With my best wishes,
Lawton Owen
"And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire." (Revelation 20:15)
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